Thursday, July 25, 2013

Taking up the Beacon. (Finally!)

So by now the fog of my winter hibernation has worn off, and I am feeling more... everything. The Synchronicities occurring in my life are... well- It's obviously just straight up magic. All day, every day, magic. And it's awesome. I am so. In Love. With my Life. Right Now.

It has come to my attention, through a variety of sources, and a series of synchronicities that I can no longer ignore- that it is time for me to allow my inner rockstar to shine bright. Every Day. No more playing small. Part of the way I have been nurturing this is through my style/identity/personal development journey over the last three years. 

I had been operating under the assumption that my daily (farm) style was categorized somewhere between "free, kinda fits" and Shlump wear. More so in the winter than warm weather. But recently I cleared out the clothes that I have been wearing daily for the last 6-7 years, and cycled in what used to be reserved for "nice"wear. As in, off farm, and remained unfarmified. So then I realized, that actually, I totally have a style, even in the farm clothes- it's GypsyfarmgirlpiratebaddassbohemianFree. With a crushable cowgirl hat on top, like a cherry. Except that when they developed these crushable straw hats, they were totally not counting on my lifestyle, and what hats go through in my world, so they last approximately one season, which is sad, because they become part of me, worn as an accent with every look, and protecting me from the sun. 
  This week my friend Jamie gave me  a complete new wardrobe of clothes that she cleaned out of her closet, with so many pairs of cargo pants (My Favorite!!) that I am just completely set- our styles are similar and she completely reads my taste, so that was just straight up awesomesauce. 

 So here is the next level shit, and I need to include my favorite shop,  and my favorite shop owner Shane Sterling here, because he has been so completely pivotal on this journey. Like so much. I gotta go outside a minnit cause I'm all verklempt. 

Ok, I'm back. 

Three years ago I wandered into Funk and Flash, and Who do I see behind the counter but Shane!! I knew Shane from my teen years when I was very involved in costuming, and vintage stores, thrifting, and photoshoots. Even then he had impeccable style, grace, and an artistic eye, just as beautiful behind the camera crafting his vision as he was modeling in front of the lens. I've always admired him and his gift for seeing beauty, for making the world a more Luminous place. He owns Funk and Flash now- a visionary store full of clothes aimed at helping to create a paradigm shift, to spread beauty in the world, and to bring the inner shimmer out into the limelight where it can sparkle brightly. I was at that time, newly separated, wearing ill fitting hand me downs, a little lost, and feeling like I had misplaced my sense of identity. I had given away all of the clothes I wore when I was bartending at night clubs as it didn't feel like that fit any more as a new mother, and had reinvented myself- sustainable farmer, locavore, permaculturist, sustainable activist. Style wise, I was completely missing my sense of self. I conveyed these things to him, and he shared that his wife had recently had a daughter as well, and had also experienced something similar. He spent countless hours with me, choosing items that were washable, wrinkle free, comfortable, like wearing yoga lounge wear, practical, could stand up to the rigors of motherhood, and completely gorgeous. Also outside of my comfort zone, but I tried on everything he brought me. I ensconced myself in the dressing room in a wealth of fabrics, textures colors, beauty- much of it eco-friendly. And as I tried on these clothes a transformation occurred. I was able to see myself again. The clothes fit me like they were designed for me, and they made me feel so amazingly beautiful. Like the inner me, painted on a canvas, outside, where everyone could see. As he got a feel for what worked on my body Shane brought me more pieces and encouraged me every step of the way, with advice, input, assembling complete outfits, and budget. And also, insisting that I am a size small, a practice he continues to this day which amuses me to no end. The pieces I purchased then are some of my most loved items in my wardrobe, the go to clothes for going out, feeling beautiful, and expressing my me-ness. On that day, I not only found myself again, I found my confidence, My beauty, my light, and I began to shine, where before had been only a dull aching glimmer buried beneath years of muck. It's not just clothes, it's an investment in myself, my confidence, my light, and simultaneously an investment in supporting a dear friend, and his local business, and family, which I am just beyond proud to do. 
   Shane continues to hold my hand in my style journey, every time I walk in to his shop we spend hours getting lost in playing dress up, assembling the perfect looks. Aways, he encourages me to be fearless, bold, adventurous, and to let my inner rockstar come out to play. To Shine my radiance, full luminosity at all times. If he had his way, I'd be rocking high fashion at the farm, and someday soon, I will be. Maybe not at the farm, but in my every day life, yes. It's a paradigm shift up in here people. I am not afraid of my own brilliance any more. I am beautiful. And happy. And free. And Deeply, wordlessly grateful. 

(Ps, I know my grammar, word usage, and use of capitalization and punctuation is not traditional. I do that on purpose for emphasis, and because it is Mine. I know all the rules, so therefor I get to break them all now, because That's How I Roll.)

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